Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Home

I’m heading to the end of an 8-day workweek, but the trip to Missouri was well worth it. Julian was a pretty good traveler, as good as could be expected cutting his top teeth. We thought there were only the top two, but quickly discovered he was in various stages of cutting FOUR top teeth. Some of his buddies from the playgroup are working on their eighth or ninth tooth; I can only imagine! He’ll have six when he’s done with these teeth, in another week or so. So far, biting hasn’t been too much of an issue. He’ll do it accidentally a couple of times a week, but it’s never too severe.

So, with the breaking through of a top tooth, GaGa, YaYa and Grandpa, Chelsea and Kenny got to see a Julian first, something they were quite pleased about. They hadn’t seen him for months, so his mobility was as much a shock for them as it was for us. Had to quickly babyproof the house, then gave the kiddo rein. Mom even unleashed the Tupperwave, from the “God Bless America” cabinet, named so for the shouting that occurs when trying to fish out one piece of plastic and the entire collection tumbles out. He particularly loved the koozies. One of our own, indeed.

After he got readjusted to his surroundings (Which even I go through every time I go home. My parents will have rearranged a room, repainted a bathroom, replaced a rug, built a ginormous two-story deck, which is worth a drive to Aurora to see…), he was back to his curious, entertaining self. Going after the cat food, sticking newspapers in his mouth, rubbing banana in the carpet. I left him with mom and GaGa Friday to head to Columbia.

It was odd to be away from Julian, away from Ian and not be at work. I very rarely have that time to my self. So the drive, which I figure I’ve made at least 100 times, was nice. Dived straight into Shakespeare’s and Boulevard when I got there. Ooooing and aaaahing at all the new development downtown. There are so many new businesses and buildings along Ninth St.! I didn’t spend too much time on campus. After lunch, we split south, to get out of the city.

As I spent more time in Columbia when I was in school, I was so centered downtown, living above Boone’s Tavern and working at the J-School, that it was always the goal to get out of town as much as we could. Weekly trips to the Missouri River were a must. As were treks in and around the trails in the Devil’s Icebox area. There is this swimming hole we found a few years back on some conservation land near there that we (Daniel, Scott, Bobby and some other friends) ventured to after pizza and beer. It became this ecology adventure, with the boys seeing who could name the most frogs, trees and geological formations. I love going with them into nature because I always learn so much about what’s around us. If they had their druthers, most of them would live out there in the woods like wildmen, surviving off what the land provided them. College degrees linger, however, so most of them balance schoolwork with trips like these into the forest.

This particular trip into the forest ended in a cave, hidden a few miles into the hike. It’s a pretty big cave, they tell me, that they’d explored before. We walked as far back into it as we could without a light, but that’s as far as we got. They started talking about “The Descent” and that was enough for me.

The night progress into foil packs of veggies thrown into the backyard fire at Bobby and Daniel’s place. Bless their hearts, they’ve already snagged a group of very nice freshmen girls to entertain. I enjoyed hanging out with these 18- and 19-year-olds, but their faces dropped when I told them I graduated in 2005 and even further when I mentioned the kid (they were quite fascinated when I had to pull out the breast pump, however). Usually, I find myself as the young, overeager one, almost apologizing for my age (“Ask Addie what year she graduated” one coworker once told another, knowing the hilarity that would ensue when I replied.). So it was interesting to feel so aged, so dated by these pups.

But I was transplanted to back when I was their age, remembering what it was like to feel confined by my limited experience and to want so badly for the borders of my reality to expand. The tedium of twenty, I once read, when I was twenty, in a short story in The New Yorker. But you can’t even begin to imagine the magnitude of the experiences you will have, (I cannot imagine the magnitude of the experiences that are to come!) so I didn’t try. I just encouraged them to study abroad and to enjoy their college years because they do not last forever.

The next day, Scott and I headed home. His home has shifted from Lockwood to Golden City to now Webb City, but home for both of us is this general region of Southwest Missouri. Where the billboards are embarrassing (“I’m watching you.  – God”), where the empty fields line the endless country roads, where everything is closed on Sunday evenings, where a stop at a Culver’s becomes the culinary highlight of the day. No matter how far we go, our roots remain in this often overlooked, often forgotten corner of the state. (I don’t forget it though. No matter how hard I might have tried : )

He hung out at the house and helped prepare for a party Saturday night at the house. Friends from Springfield came down, croquet was played, chicken was eaten, babies were held, banjos were played. A highlight of my trips home are always the get-togethers at my house with my parent’s friends. This trip was no different.

We spent the next few days catching up with more friends, meeting new boyfriends and new babies, discussing the new Wal-Mart Supercenter that just opened. We got our pictures taken at school with my mom and I had my teeth cleaned. After a few days of being in Aurora, especially without Ian there, I forget I don’t live there anymore.

Well, almost. I stayed in my old room from when I was a kid, which no longer has the Classic Pooh border or multi-colored walls. I snuggled with the feline, Iggy, who seems more frail each time I see her. My eyeballs were floating from all the coffee and yummy brew I drank on this awesome, brand new porch that transforms the back yard. Everything stays the same, but different, as always. Even the wretched ice storm of last winter couldn’t permanently alter Aurora’s landscape as much as I thought it would. Ozarkans are a determined folk, I tell you.

It did my heart good to see some really dear, genuine friends, who aren’t easily replaced, even after a few years in a new place. I love Austin and my growing friendships here, but my trip to Missouri reminded me how good it feels to be around your longtime homies, the people who really know you, not just the current version of you.

We had an awesome 5 days up there. I’m enchanted living in Austin, but it breaks my heart sometimes to live so far away.

 "There's no tedium like the tedium of twenty. But all the while you are in fact flying fast into a future that has already been decided by a couple of accidental encounters or scraps of dreams."
Tessa Hadley, "The Surrogate" The New Yorker, September 15, 2003

No comments: