Brotherhood begins

Avery has been going to school with Julian since January. He was four months old and I was back at work. Instead of Ian being a full-time stay-at-home dad, we'd send Avery to school so Ian could actually get some work done at home.

Of course, on the second day of school, they had school pictures, which means Avery got his photos taken, too. I wasn't planning on being in the shot, but since Avery couldn't sit up by himself, I got to hold him.


Because they get to spend so much time together at school, in addition to being together at home, I feel like they are creating a really special brotherly bond, even though Avery is still very much a baby.

Julian does everything from "helping" change his diaper or feed him to being on guard all the time for choking hazards that Avery Jack might put in his mouth. He's a big help, most of the time, but for at least 30 percent of the time, his needs are greater than Avery's. It's his emotional needs, but they are needs, nonetheless, and they are exhausting to deal with.

It's typical 4-year-old stuff: An obsession with Transformers, a dish he's not quite sure of, clothes that don't fit the right way, a desire to watch something different than what we're watching. He's vying for attention with a baby, but Avery is rarely the focus of his frustration, even though they share the same room.

I think that's a good thing, but as with all aspects of parenting, I can't be sure.

Ian is doing a good job balancing both boys, even though Avery is still waking up around 3:30 or 4 a.m. for a snack and daddy feels perpetually sleep-deprived. (Mommy does, too, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.)

They get a boy night all together at least once a week, but I try to limit my work-related evening activities to no more than that. I've started taking Avery or Julian with me to activities that are appropriate for one or the other, which means Ian only has to stay back with one, but the vast majority of nights, we're all together, watching a movies or TV show streaming on Netflix with popcorn and Coke. (It's a weakness.)

It'll be nice when Julian and Avery can really occupy each other's attention in a way that doesn't feel so lopsided, but I think even Julian appreciates that he's still in his cute baby phase.