Showing off the car seat

Erin in the Big D has an awesome pad. I had the pleasure of seeing it first hand at a couch-warming party last Friday. Couch-warming is to put it mildly. Jagermeister was involved. Political sparring was had on the deck. As it was mainly a group of folks associated with a big wig adverting agency in Dallas, media analysis dominated much of the conversation. Just my style.

It was so cool to enter a party a totally anonymous figure. I love seeing people's reactions when I let on that I have a 10-month-old. I become The One With The Kid. Never has that been more clear than at this party Friday. It was awesome. They'd ask all kinds of questions. And I've learned what to tell them and what not to. Keep it down to the basic aspects of parenthood a youngish non-parent can grasp. After you exchange the essentials, (yes, I still wake up at 5 a.m. for a feeding; no, I'm not worried if I sleep a night away from him) having a kid doesn't extinguish the zero-to-sixty friendships (or maybe alliances is a better word) you build at really killer parties like this one. You know, those sudden connections you make with people because of some interest you share. Because motherhood is just one part of my identity, I can still get on with people with all sorts of backgrounds. As much as the Mother label lingers in the backs of people's minds, I felt like I got to step outside mommydom for a little while and just enjoy being a 24-year-old.

One fun, interesting adventure of the night was a b-double-e-double-r-u-n for Enlightenment with this tall, Republican-y boy with a "Got Goat?" T-shirt. When we got into my car — cause I'm always the driver for these sort of things — I used the car seat as proof that this kid I'd been telling crazy stories about was, indeed, a real person. I'd told him about Julian but it didn't register until he peered into the back seat of the Corolla and saw his toys strewn about and the good old Graco. Here's this person who is years, years away from being a parent hanging out with this other person who's pretty outspoken about still breast-feeding. As we were frolicking about the very hip lower Greenville area of Dallas, I thought to myself how great it was that the dude, a silver-spoon slacker, and I, the working mommy at recess, and could explore the world without the pretense or goal of (shhhhh) hooking up. It made it so much easier to just enjoy myself. Alas, it was only my enjoying. As the night went on, it became more clear that Mr. Got Goat didn't seem to hear that I was engaged. He was very well-mannered, but you could just tell he was hoping I'd be more interested in him than I was.

I had realization No. 2: Addie-with-child was getting considerably more attention than the Addie-without-child ever did. Said boy (who's name I didn't even catch till the end of the night), and a handful of other males at the gathering, were swarming like flies. (And I'm not boasting, I promise. This is more about my astonishment at the irony of dating life.) It's the result of a potent two-part combo that acts like a pheromone, as BAT noted.

First, bearing an offspring is undeniable proof of a supple, fertile female, who is emboldened with a round figure and the beaming energy a young child provides. Biology and evolution tell us this is the foremost influence in how both men and women pick mates. Second, having a kid bolsters your confidence in a way few other things can. That I went through pregnancy, birth and infanthood and made it out alive has been enough to make me feel more confident and proud of my abilities than I have in a long time. This all leads to a certain boldness and authenticity, which both men and women would admit is hugely appealing.

It's just so interesting that these boys take note when I'm undoubtedly off limits. I'm thinking this is a thing all mothers encounter at some point or another. Am I wrong? Doesn't motherhood make you feel like a sorceress sometimes?


Coming soon: Project Runway reports...