A (not really all that terribly) troublesome toddler

With his 18 month birthday, Julian officially entered toddlerhood this week, but to Ian and me, it's been a long milestone coming. He's been kissing, crawling, climbing, "no"-ing, "juice"-ing, laughing, playing, tickling, swimming -- all those toddler things that either make you melt or make you crazy. We've found parenthood this book of chapters that get both easier and harder the further you get along.

For example, he sleeps and sleeps, which we're eternally grateful for, but when he's up, he's up, and you don't really get a break until he's sleeping again. Before, when he was waking up and breastfeding and such, you could (relatively) go about your business. Not that this is different than any other kid in history, but when you're in it, you really understand this for the first time. You also start to understand that as soon as you *get* it, it all changes and it's like the first day of class all over again.

It's been long days for Ian while I'm at work, but he's figuring out how not to lose his sanity and still be a full-time parent, a feat I have so much respect for. And I go through the quintessential working mom emotions: feeling guilty for not spending enough time with Julian on one hand and on the other hand feeling slightly ashamed of the relief that sometimes accompanies walking out the door and into my other life.

It's been hard for me to balance my full-time work and also to alleviate some of the stress of his full-time work. And equally difficult, Ian's on call nearly every day for whatever strange schedule or event that comes up that takes me away from him and J.

But it's such a marvelous way to spend your days.

Our neighbor Fern, the one with no short-term memory who walks her dog Lucky about a dozen times a day, always reminds us of what a wonderful life ahead we have. "Don't you feel sorry for people who don't want to have children," she asks. "They don't know what they are missing out on."

She also always asks us when, not if, we're going to have another. That's a whole other story, a scenario I cannot possibly imagine right now. Our plates are full, and we're happily busy and occupied with one dog and one child (who just yesterday started saying sometime similar to "good girl" to Shiva).

For all the energy it takes to raise a child, you get it back tenfold, not over the course of a lifetime, but in the span of a few minutes or seconds, in moments like the one below, when Julian got to play with his cat friend, Toby.

It's the hardest job we'll ever do, and it ain't over yet.