Happy birthday, Troy. I think of you every day, but especially today.
Today you would have turned 26. And we thought 20 was tough.
Well, it was, in its own way. Thankfully, there was music to help us through. I bring up music because Jane's Addiction and Perry Farrell, torn calf muscle and all, are playing in Austin tonight.
I'm not going. Here's something I didn't anticipate 26 would bring: Concerts just aren't the same. Remember when you called me when I was living in San Diego to see if I'd drive some weekday night to Kansas City to see 311? No one else would go. We went and loved it. I rarely even drive downtown for shows much less 2 hours for a band I only liked because you did, and this time it's actually legal for me to buy a beer.
But just because going to concerts isn't the same doesn't mean the music itself is any less powerful. That one line in "Jane Says" isn't any clearer, and the sting hasn't faded from Incubus' "I Miss You". Beth Orton's voice has only gotten sexier. "James" is as bittersweet now as it was then, just in an entirely different way.
Who knows where you would be or how you'd be celebrating this birthday. I'd probably have forgotten to send a card, but I know I'd have called you first thing. E-mail just wouldn't suffice. (I shudder to think what you would have thought of Twitter.)
It's hard to grow older and go through all these exciting things like tweezing Nerds out of Julian's nose and finally getting paid to be a storyteller and know that you only had 23 years.
But what a 23 years they were. I miss you.
(Update 5/12: I was wrong. Jane's Addiction is playing tonight instead of last night. Who else is playing a gig tonight in Austin? 311)
(For those of you who didn't have the honor to know him, Troy Schnelle, fellow Southwest Missourian and University of Missouri graduate, was killed after being hit by a car on June 23, 2006.)
3 comments:
Thanks for keeping him alive with your memories.
Aw Addie. This post fills my heart. Just overflows it. I second your anonymous comment when I say thank you for keeping him alive with your memories. You are a good friend and a good mother. (Troy would be so proud!) I wish I knew you better. If I'm ever in Austin ...
Hey, Heidi! I would love to meet you if you're ever in Austin. I keep up with your adventures on your blog, so I'll know if you're here ;).
I wish so much that I'd taken a trip to Florida to meet you all when he was still alive. We'll meet in life, and that connection will add to the complexities of our how we love and remember him.
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