Embracing 2008, looking forward to 2009

Props to the hundreds of thousands of bloggers, especially those with children (whom I will NOT automatically call mommy bloggers :)), who can keep up with photos, videos and heck, even posts themselves this time of year. I find myself at the end of the holiday months, the longest and best I've had in years, if not ever. Work simultaneously invigorated and overwhelmed me. We welcomed lots of new friends in a new house. Julian could identify Santa Claus and open presents on his own. Ian and I kept up our positive attitudes and couldn't pinch ourselves enough to make sure all this happy goodness was real and not just some wistful dream from earlier in 2008.



People keep saying what a crappy year 2008 was. It most definitely held unprecedented lows, both personal and economic, but with a new president, a new job, a new partnership, a new home, a new social circle (even for Julian) and a new wardrobe and subsequent quasi-fame, I am having a hard time remembering anything but the good from '08.



In terms of my own person growth and change, 2008 was right up there, if not ahead, of 2001, 2003 and 2006. Look at the hardship and joy suffered in those years: starting college and 9/11, followed by exiting adolescence and living in Spain, then moving to Austin, losing Troy and embracing Julian.



I'm just thankful that this year, like the others, the lemonade we made quenches our thirsty lips.



My hope is that our collective momentum will continue into this new year. 2009, as every year before it, holds countless opportunities for my family and yours, and my wish is that we all greet them with open eyes and a straight head.

A San Francisco treat

My time in San Francisco has been incredibly fun and fulfilling. Spending time with Emily, her boyfriend Kyle and her friends Sara and Weber has been awesome. We've eaten some killer sushi, enjoyed some beautiful sights and shared some delightful insights. These are the photos I've taken with my phone camera (I forgot the cord to my other one), so they will have to do until I get home....

How do you say what you mean?

On my flight to San Francisco, when I was stuck without Internet, I started trolling my computer and found this AIM conversation between Troy and me from March 17, 2005. He was getting ready to graduate with a degree in journalism (I was supposed to graduate, too, but studying abroad for so long delayed me a semester), and we were buzzing along together in the height of our intellectual (and so clearly complicated and abstract) collegiate endeavors.

He died on June 23, 2006.

I’m really glad I saved this conversation.

Troy: i can't believe all this nick drake stuff is from late 60s and early 70s.
Addie: seriously?
A: gez...it never ceases to amaze me as to how much ground i still have to make up in the music world
T: yeah, it's etc.
12:20 AM
T: you can never say or know everything about anything.
A: tis is true
T: that is a general semantics fact.
A: but you can know more than average about something
A: looking into the things that interest you
T: whats average?
A: but that's such a sociological point...people think they're so fucking cool because they can quote every hemingway or hunter thomspon or the killers or you name the hot item of the moment
T: as long as they like it. then it probably is pretty fucking cool.
A: i guess by average i mean the basic definition of one thing.....you say fitzgerald, i say gatsby, you say franzen i say the corrections
A: who's they
T: i don't know you're the one who said it.
12:25 AM
A: wait, i don't think i said they
T: i have to go to sleep. nick drake is making me sleepy.
T: you said "people".
T: WHATever.
A: right, the rest of them
A: it's never ending
T: our language is self reflexive, so there's always another layer of abstraction that can be added. another picture of a picture of a picture.
A: oh jesus...i think we could go for hours on that
T: an abstraction of an abstraction
T: thats the point.
A: it's like modern art
T: we could go on for hours about anything and have not said everything.
T: or anything, for that matter.
A: jesus....it's like defining to be. it never works. but its fun to try
T: our language was created by people who thought the world was static and basically the same.
A: such fools
T: now we're stuck with a language that can't describe reality
A: but it's the closest thing we have, right?
T: which is really a process of continuous change.
T: well, we can start by throwing out the to be verbs.
A: right, but language is change, people is change, community is change...
A: as long as it is all changing, why not go with it
T: i don't get it. go with what? things arent changing. change is thinging. (sic)
A: the changes....good means bad, cool means weird...girl means boy....what was once totally right, now means wrong....what once seemed logical now seems strange...people once loved beef and now they think it's crazy
T: hahahaa.
12:30 AM
A: they loved milk and now reject it
T: they're all thinging.
A: people have lived off carbs for thousands of years and now it's wrong. who says that? i mean honestly
A: thinging...since when was that a verb???
T: it's so funny.
A: the cliche is that things are always changing, but you can't really reject that.
it comes in circles
T: what i reject is our language as a way to describe what's in my head. it simply doesn't work.
A: so what's the solution
T: i'm restricted to these silly words like silly.
A: hahaha
T: i'm living in a prison of culture.
A: but you can make these words mean what you mean
A: you can make "reasonable" mean what you want it to
T: i will leave you with this nick drake song.

A: and i'll leave you with that idea that the people who really understand you understand what you mean by the words you say...not what the dictionary defines them as, but what you mean them
T: but you will not understand what i mean because they mean different things in different contexts.
A: and each day it changes and i can only take a survey
T: i cannot transfer my thoughts to you. simply cannot be done.
A: i agree.
A: unfortunately
A: but that's the way life is...you cant' dwell on this as a miscommunication
⋯
12:35 AM
T: something must be done.

Birthdays and cupcakes

My dear friend Meghan celebrated a birthday just a few days after mine, and we had a cupcake party! Julian had an awesome time, and I took this accidental (and awesome, despite the phone camera quality) feet picture! You can see how creative we got with the cupcake decorating!

A road trip to Missouri, baby in tow

Julian and I drove up to Dallas to pick up my old Spanish roommate, Erin, so we could go visit another roommate, Rachel, and her husband Russell, who were visiting the Southwest Missouri homeland. We had a grand time, driving 12 hours each way through the backroads of Oklahoma and Arkansas to spend two days with our closest friends and family.

It was a fantastic four days.

Pre- and post-wedding photos

Ian and I are still buzzing from the good energy spread around at our wedding two Sundays ago. We were surrounded by some of our favorite people, many who traveled a good number of miles to join us in a celebration of love. Here are the photos I got with my camera, so there's not many from the actual wedding celebration itself. These are from the pig roast preparation and post-wedding party.



You can buy any of my flickr photos at flickr.com/broylesa.

Also, I've never given a shoutout to the Web mind who makes it so that I can produce these slideshows. A Fabio Cavassini has made a site where you can use photos you've uploaded to flickr to make slideshows. Thanks, Fabio!

Do I really look that bad?

Never in my life did I think reality TV would be on my list o' life experiences. But, thanks to my adoring fiance (and hordes of caring friends and family who's also helped along the way), I'm going to be on What Not to Wear!

It still doesn't even seem real. Last night. How it all went down. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly practically jumping me at a Velvet Brick show at the Red Eye Fly downtown. What seemed like a dozen cameras. A lighting crew. A (fake) $5,000 Bank of America debit card with my name printed on it. And dozens of familiar faces – you sneaky bunch – filling the crowd.

Apparently this has all been in the works since last February when, as I sat on the couch recovering from the C-section and both of us adjusting to a brand new Julianito, Ian and Corey thought it would be a kind gesture (and shot in the dark) to nominate me for this fashion makeover reality TV show on TLC. Now, I've watched my fair share of What Not to Wear and always take mental notes as I watch the hosts purge an unsuspected duckling's closet and, by the end, reveal a sharper dressed, better presented and more confident swan.

I think we all know the weak spots or challenges in how we present ourselves. Weight, skin tone, acne. Unruly curly hair, an unhealthy addiction to Target, perhaps. I'm a sucker for sentimentality, too. Those shorts of my dad's that I stole when I graduated from high school kept me horribly out of fashion (on both sides of the Atlantic) for years. But they were his. And they went with me on all those adventures. Who cares if they have holes in the crotch and the drawstring is about to snap? How could I betray something so comforting to both my body and my soul? I can't be the only person who feels this way about tangible items. Do all pack rats feel this way? Is it a Cancer thing?

So I better get ready to say goodbye to those shorts. And the 3-sizes-too-big pants I've doodled all over that I bought with Australian Russ my freshman year of college. And my so-called motorcycle jacket that I bought in Spain and that (barely) kept me warm during those winter travels to England and Italy. And my dad's (stained) Padres baseball shirt that he worn when I was a baby. Oh and my embarrassingly ugly yet incredibly comfortable collection of slip-on shoes.

I'm headed to New York at the end of the month. That's pretty much all I know for now. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you all for helping bring this awesome opportunity my way. I owe you big time.

Thanks, Paige, for the photos!

Julian's first Christmas

This trip to Missouri as been a comic affair, I tell you. From a seven-hour delay at DFW (oh, the joy), to Ian having to not only go to the dentist, but also the doctor (don't worry, he's fine), to my dad getting a 24-hour stomach flu, to Chelsea's graduation dinner cancelled because of inclement weather (welcome to Missouri), to Julian being extra fussy because of getting 4 new teeth. It's been a little crazy. But everything calmed down these last few days. Here are some videos of the trip so far, including "Christmas" morning on Sunday and one of the boys' music sessions.

On our own feet

After the first really cold spell of the season, the 78 degree weather outside today felt like heaven. Playing with Julian and two of the moms and babies from the birthing group at the park was just what I needed. Baby Addie and Hollis are the cutest, most fun little kiddos. They wore Julian out. Aw, Julian's little friends. I'm so grateful to call their moms friends, too. It really makes a difference with this whole kid-raising thing. You don't feel so crazy when you can vent to other parents who are dealing with some of the same issues.

Julian is standing up on his own now. He's less and less wobbly by the day. No steps yet. As with crawling and pulling up, he's pretty proud of himself when he gets up on two feet. The better to grab at things with, he says. More babyproofing is just around the corner. We should enjoy this while it lasts...

Have a look!