Prepare to be horrified

Oh, gez, check this out -- I found this image of me on What Not to Wear with straight hair. If you look closely, you should be able to see my red, tear-stained face, the result of crying off camera for 20 minutes after catching a glimpse of my new 'do.

More than six months later, I still cringe at the image.



For those of you who haven't seen the episode, what do you think?

P.S. We'd gotten a call this week from the show; they wanted to ask a few questions in preparation for a follow-up episode they were going to shoot at the end of the month. Told them about the food job, my new style, etc. etc. and thought it was a signed deal, but we got a message today saying they regretted to tell us that they weren't going to come to Austin this time around. Too bad, I say. They don't get to see my new kick ass teal heels.

Wish you could be on 'Top Chef'?

If you can't get on the show, you can always bring 'Top Chef' home:

FOOD & DRINK

'Top Chef' comes home

For tonight's finale, this group plans to cook Polish food

By Addie Broyles
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Up-and-coming chefs try to whip up fabulous (but sometimes mediocre) meals to impress models, journalists, restaurateurs and celebrity chefs on Bravo TV's hit reality show "Top Chef."

Some Austin friends who meet each Wednesday night for their own "Top Chef"-style competition and watch party just want to impress one another and earn a few bragging rights.

Robin and Tom Gerrow started hosting these "Top Chef" parties for their foodie friends several months ago when the fourth season started. The season ends tonight with "cheftestants" Lisa Fernandes, Richard Blais and Stephanie Izard vying for the $100,000 prize.

The Gerrows had enjoyed watching "Top Chef" with their friends for several seasons, and while watching the finale last season one of them had the idea that they should host their own cooking competition before the show started each week.

Continue reading...

Revealed

What a treat! After a late night watching, blogging and celebrating my national television premiere, Julian contradicted my previous post and slept all through the night until 10:30 this morning! I could hardly believe it, either. Now we're still at Uncle Tommy's out in the Hill Country, trying to figure out how to enjoy this beautiful Saturday!

I had such a fun time blogging during the show; all kinds of people were chiming in with comments and questions. It was fun to hear from folks at my parent's party in Missouri. They had a houseful of badly dressed friends (They awarded prizes to people who dressed the worst. I'm sorry I missed that one!).

Here are some photos of the engagement party that I couldn't show until after last night's "What Not to Wear":

A snot-faced little boy

Julian's been having a rough week. Either allergies or his teeth or perhaps some germs he picked up are simultaneously stuffing him up and giving him the snots and a case of the I-don't-want-to-sleeps. He's usually a great napper and sleeper, but for the past few days he's been up at night and refusing to go back to sleep in his crib. Now, it's nap time and he's got these big old circles under his eyes and he's refusing to sleep. I think it's probably because he can't suck his thumb like he wants with all that snot in his nose. And, if he's anything like his momma, the snot draining on his throat is making it sore, which is irritating enough in itself. Poor guy. I got some baby Vicks last night, but I'm thinking I should have gone for the full strength...

He's turning into quite the little boy. He started saying "ruff ruff" when we're talking about dogs. He's making the connection with signing "more" and "all done." He even acted like he was brushing his teeth last week when I brushed mine. His movements are getting so focused and intentional. His physical features are chiseling him into a toddler. It's so fun to watch. He's still got that crazy happy laugh of his, which Jenny noticed the other day when she and Ollie were hanging out with the Jules. And, look! He's already a drummer! Momma's so proud.

_______________________________________

The big "What Not to Wear" premiere is tonight! Yeah! I'm going to live blog at statesman.com/thegoods, starting just before the show airs at 8 p.m. central on TLC.

The Springfield News-Leader ran a story today in the Life section. My favorite part?

At the end of her week in New York, she flew back to Austin for the big "reveal" Feb. 1 at an engagement party the show hosted for her and Knox. The waiting crowd included her family from Aurora.

Broyles came out in heels, nice jewelry and a fancy dress.

His daughter's heels surprised him most, Dan Broyles says: "I haven't seen her in high heels since prom. It was kind of a shock."

My article is still up at Statesman.com.

Have fun! Let me know what you think of the show!

What Not to Wear article

So many exciting things are going on as the "What Not to Wear" premiere approaches! I've posted a glimpse at what the front of Thursday's Life & Style cover looks like, and here's a link to the story I wrote. There's also a video style writer Marques and I did the other day.

Don't forget to check out my live blogging on The Goods on Friday night during the premiere, at 8 p.m. central.

And, because you guys are awesome enough to keep checking this blog even though I've been super lame about posting lately, I'll let you in on a little secret: The jacket I'm wearing on that cover came from the Goodwill. Cost me 4 bucks of my own hard-earned cash.



More exciting things in the works. Or at least I'm crossing my fingers they are in the works. :) I'll keep you posted.

Things worth looking forward to

What a week! With the What Not to Wear show coming up on Friday, things have been picking up around here. I've been working on an article for Thursday's newspaper, talking to the three other contributors from the Austin area, doing interviews for the Aurora and Springfield newspapers, and, of course, taking in some South by Southwest. We also squeezed in a trip to Fort Worth yesterday and today for Ian's birthday. Whew. Makes me tired just recalling, but it's been an awesome week.

Has anyone else caught the What Not to Wear preview?? My in-laws saw it Friday night and I saw it yesterday afternoon. It seems like TLC is running it about every hour. It's just a snippet of clips from my ambush and when they trashed my closet, including a sound bit of Stacy telling me I'm being more like "Raggedy Addie."

It's so surreal to see myself on TV. It almost doesn't seem like it's me. It seems like some body double, who happens to sound and act like me. So, it's concrete now: Friday, March 21, 8 p.m. central.

I have to work this afternoon (always on the go, go, go, you know), but a small piece of wonderfulness from our trip to visit Ian's family yesterday.

He has a 5-year-old niece, Jenna, a sweet, sweet child who loves life and those around her. We love going up there to play in the backyard with her and her 2-year-old brother, Michael. We were talking about birthdays yesterday (Ian's been thinking about it a lot with the big 3-6 coming up tomorrow) and I asked her what she thought was the best age. "Five," she said. "Cause you can do stuff when you're a kid that you can't do when you're an adult."

Oh, I share that sentiment when I look at a set of monkey bars and wonder how the hell I ever swung all the way across them. But I think it's cooler that she loves the age she's at. Despite all the toys, the Hello Kitty, the Bratz, the television characters, she still loves where she's at, not where she's going. Something we can all strive for, no matter if we're facing 6 or 36 or 66.

When Not to Wear

Well, there you go. TLC posted my episode summary on their Web site schedule. So, I guess it's official. March 21 at 9 p.m. eastern (8 p.m. for those of us in central time).

Start planning your watch parties.

"What Not to Wear": The Reveal

Oh, how good it is to be back in Austin! New York is such an incredible city, but home is home for a reason, right? And it certainly helps that the weather gods gave us such spring-like days to welcome me back from my "What Not to Wear" journey.

Two crew members and I left New York City before dawn on Friday. I finally got to wear some of my clothes I bought last week, but most of them were crammed into a single suitcase and two garment bags. (Garment bags! Can you believe it? Never in my life have I used one, much less two!)

I caught a little bit of an old episode of "What Not to Wear" on the flight. An episode I'd seen before with this silly girl in an orange fuzzy scarf. To millions of Americans (and Canadians!), I'll be that girl in the skirt she made out of a tablecloth. Or the new mom with the "baby juice" on her shirt. (Clinton made sure to point out — on camera in the 360 degree mirror — that one of my shirt sleeves still had some dried food on it. I tried to explain how often that happens with a young one at home. They sloppily eat some graham crackers and give you a hug and leave a little "baby juice" behind. Stacy and Clinton didn't really get it, but I know all you mothers out there hear me. Hey, at least I wasn't still new at breastfeeding! Talk about embarrassing stains!)

It was so surreal to see the show on the plane, so I didn't watch for long. We arrived in Austin around noon and headed straight for The Oasis, where the engagement party was to be held later on that night. We still had half a day until guests were to arrive, but we had plenty to do! A makeup artist, a sound guy and a camera man the show had hired for the day were waiting for us when we arrived, and I jumped right into my first "beauty shots" outfit. This part of the program is meant to show off some of the other new outfits the "contributer" got after he/she has arrived back home. It felt very much like I was having my high school senior pictures taken again. "Voguing" is the crew's preferred term, but there's no denying the inherent cheese involved in posing in this manner for the camera. But it felt good to finally get to wear some of these clothes that I'd only tried on once in a dressing room a few thousand miles away.

But it felt even better to look out over Lake Travis and realize I was home. Those blasted cedars that made me sneeze as soon as I got off the plane were a welcomed sight after a week in a barren, concrete city. The warm sun that made even a sweater unnecessary on the first day of February. The guacamole and quesadillas I got to nibble on between shots. (That's something even New Yorkers will agree on — there's not an ounce of decent Mexican or Tex-Mex to be had in the Big Apple.) There's nothing to make you appreciate Central Texas like a week on the East Coast...

After the beauty shots were done, the sweet makeup artist from Houston helped me put myself together for the big reveal. A very fine, very chic, very expensive dress from Searle, great earrings and quite high silver heels. All I had to do then was wait for friends and family to arrive. The crew kept asking if I was nervous, but I really wasn't. I was more excited to see everyone, especially my family who'd driven down from Missouri and Ian and Julian. Plus, my feet were already hurting from the shoes, so I was beyond ready to waltz through those doors and see everyone.

But I guess the point was for them, and the cameras, to see me. So it took what felt like hours to set everything up. And the big moment finally came! I strolled through these giant doors and saw dozens of familiar faces break into huge smiles. I could feel it. Their explosive applause was completely genuine. They were as happy to see me as I was to see them. I don't know if it was the dress or the shoes or the hair (don't worry, it was curly again) that surprised them most, but everyone just seemed through the roof.

But lest we forget that this is television. Instead of getting to run to all of them, and pick up my own child for goodness sake, I had to turn around and walk through the doors again. And again. And again. The poor folks in the crowd had to react as if they hadn't seen me again and again and again. So much for "reality television." But we all persevered, and in the end, I got to at least say hello to most of the guests between interviews and cutaway shots and more shots of me getting out of the car and walking up the stairs and through the door and, well, you get the idea.

I was happily surprised that everyone really seemed shocked at my "transformation." Even though I felt like a princess in that dress (I know, you're dying to catch a glimpse of it! I was politely informed that I could not show any of this before the episode's premiere in late March. March 21 is the date they've given me for now.), it felt more dramatic because of how everyone reacted to me in it. It was almost like they were seeing something I could not because I'm too close to the source.

Julian didn't even recognize me! And even though it had only been a week, he seemed to have changed leaps and bounds as well! He was even giving everyone high-fives, which he hadn't been doing when I left. Oh, how quickly the little ones change.

If only Friday were the last of the filming. We still had three more outfits and three more shoots on Saturday for a new part of the show called the "home life" segment. I'm glad the filming ended when it did because I was at my wits' end by Saturday. I realized by then that I had learned more about the nuts and bolts of shooting a TV show than about fashion itself, and what I remember about the past week has to do more with the making of "What Not to Wear" than the making of an all new Addie. At least I have the clothes to remind me of what I accomplished fashion-wise up there. In a few weeks, I'll have 42 minutes of prime time TV to help remember the journey as well.

I'm glad to be back at work and back with the boys. All my new things are hung nicely in the closet and not a single wire hanger remains in the house. I even made Ian go through his clothes and pitch the too big, too worn, too God-awful ugly things he's been hanging on to for years. Plus, we've already found a few new belts, scarves and pants we might be able to share! If I can just keep him away from those knee-high boots...

We had a fabulous engagement party that we wouldn't have had without the show, and I have a killer new wardrobe that I would have never splurged on myself. I may still be exhausted (and sniffling from a silly cold I think I caught up there!), and my toes may still be aching from those heels, but the new is blending with the old to create this nice new hue that still resembles me. I couldn't be happier.

What Not to Wear? Straight hair

After another long day in the "What Not to Wear" studios, I'm finally back in my very chic hotel, and I have most of my goods I bought this week with me (and some even on my body!). I have a suitcase full of super cute things and a hanging bag full of quite nice pieces. And don't forget the boxes and shoes and other things they are going to have to ship to me next week!

I finished shopping yesterday, so today was hair and makeup and the final "reveals" to hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. Let's just say they were quite impressed. One of the most dramatic changes they've made on the show, they said, though I guess they could be lying. We covered the rock 'n' roll look, the work look and the casual cute look, and you're going to have to wait for the show to see exactly what I mean by those!

All you get to see now are a pair of my really cute new shoes, mine are the top pair, along with Stacy and Clinton's shoes (I have a thing about taking pictures of my feet wherever I go) to prove I really was with those two this week...



The main changes I underwent today were for hair and makeup. Nick, the hair stylist, and Carmindy, the makeup artist, have been with the show since the beginning and are probably as well known as the hosts. Nick has a studio in New York, where he charges $500 for a haircut! Carmindy splits her time between New York and Miami and just created her own line of makeup, which will soon be in drugstores across the country.



I met Nick for a second on Wednesday for a consultation, and he was first this morning. After some foil and highlighting, then came some overall coloring, the outcome of which I wasn't really expecting. Then came the scissors, which I knew was coming. You're going to have to wait until after my reveal to find out exactly what he did, but it was OK at first.

I mean, honestly, no one really knows what the hell they are doing with curly hair unless it is there own curly hair. One of the big themes of the haircutting part of the show was that I cut my own hair now, which neither the hosts nor Nick were really impressed with. I tried to explain that it was because everywhere I go, the stylist cuts my hair as if it were straight, which it clearly is not. So a few years ago, I got tired of wasting my money on mediocre (at best) cuts. I won't claim that I was doing the best job, but I was certainly doing better than some of the stylists I had been to. Plus, the thing about curly hair is that you don't have to cut it perfectly because the curls hide the imperfections. Anyway, let's just say if I'd spent $500 on a haircut from Nick, I'd be asking for my money back (sorry, Nick, if you read this!).

But here I was, in front of three cameras and the stylist himself, so I grinned and bared it, thinking the whole time, "Well, it'll be better when I can get my own hands on it." But at least he didn't straighten it, right? Oh, just wait.

Carmindy, who is an absolute delight, hooked me up with a killer makeup job, and she even gave me about $100 worth of it because she's getting ready to launch this new line and had some extra supplies. I was elated after my experience with her. I really think she's one of the most down-to-Earth people on the whole show.

So, after makeup came the section of the show were I put on three different outfits (NOT chosen by me, which was a surprise) to show to Stacy and Clinton. Thing is, Stacy and Clinton pick out the outfits for me to wear! They did a pretty good job of putting together a nice array of my wardrobe, but halfway through the reveal section comes a hair stylist with a blow dryer and a big round brush, every curly-headed person's worst nightmare. And away he goes. I tried to keep my chin up, but I knew, just knew what was happening, and I didn't like it one bit.

But the whole point of the show is trying out news things and being open to change, so I roughed it out. They didn't let me look at myself in the mirror, but I felt it on my head. They'd flattened my signature curls into something I knew I wouldn't even recognize. I peaked in my reflection in a glass window, and that's when the tears came. I'd made it so far on the show without crying! But I couldn't help it. They'd taken what I spent two decades struggling so hard to accept, through all the horrible nicknames like "Mop 'n' Glo" and "Afro Sheen," and turned it into what I'd always wanted -- perfectly coiffed, straight-as-a-board hair. But it looked like an awful wig on me. I felt like I'd been stripped of me, the me they were trying to help me get in touch with with all these new clothes. I tried to will the tears away, but they wouldn't stop. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't permanent and that it was just a stupid television show and that I could wash the straight right out of my hair as soon as I got home.

The series producer happened to be there, and he pulled me aside and told me they'd do whatever I wanted to do. If I wanted to go back to curly, they'd do it. But I wanted to really see if Stacy and Clinton were worth their fashion salt, so I went to them with a pleading look in my eyes. "What do you think?" I asked. They knew. They saw right away what I was talking about. Stacy sat me down in the couch in her office and listened to my whole schpeal about the struggle to embrace my hair as it was. She was willing to let me do whatever I wanted, but she wanted me to at least think about doing a single outfit with straight hair and facing this demon in front of the camera. To show that curly hair, mine or anybody else's, doesn't have to be as limiting as it might feel sometimes. To show that curly-haired people, too, have options just like the straight-haired "normal" folks I envied as a younger person.

It sounds menial to go on and on as I have about this incident today with my hair, but it's about more than that. It's about identity. My curly hair is as much apart of who I am as my outgoing personality or my silly, bad jokes. It's as playful as me and reminds me of the crazy curly genes passed through each member of my family. It is a single item that represents my struggle to fit in as an adolescent female. As I stood there in all these fancy clothes and fancy shoes in a fancy studio in a fancy town, my heart was breaking at the thought of taking those curls away. On freaking national television, mind you.

But then I realized that maybe I was being given my chance to get what I'd been asking for during all those self-conscious years. The straight hair I'd always wanted, which, now that I had it, I loathed with every ounce of my being. I told them I'd go on camera with it straight if I could have it curly for the last reveal. They said yes. I dried my eyes, and they retouched my makeup. I walked on that set with as much confidence as I could muster, but I felt like that awkward, nervous junior high schooler again, just in better clothes. I hadn't wanted straight hair in a long, long time, and now I never, ever, ever will again. Careful what you wish for, you might actually get it. On freaking national television, so everyone can see.

I write this with just a few hours until my flight back to Austin. I got my curls -- and my emboldened confidence -- back for the last reveal and now for the engagement party tomorrow night. Now, the only tears I will shed will be of sheer happiness to see my fiance, my baby and my family members, who've driven down from Missouri for the big night. I can't wait.

How to spend $5,000 in two days

Whew! Two days of shopping and $5,000 later, and I have nothing to show for it! The What Not to Wear folks won't let me wear any of my stuff for at least another day, so it's back to the drab, worn-out, plain Jane stuff I brought. I didn't bring very many clothes, mainly because they didn't leave me that much when they raided my closet a few weeks ago, and I am so tired of what's in my suitcase! Tomorrow is my last day in the studio (and my last day in New York :(), and I don't have a clue what I'm going to wear!

So, today: Hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly shopped with me for awhile and gave a thumbs up or thumbs down on what I bought yesterday. I ended up having to return about $500 worth of stuff that just didn't please them like I thought, but in general, I did a pretty good job. Better than "contributers" usually do, they told me. Stacy and Clinton helped me pick out an incredible engagement dress that I'm just dying to show off. I think the happiest moment of my day was when one of Clinton's hair/makeup guys walked past me and had to do a double take. "Honey, you look hot!" he said. It feels good to take people off guard like that.

How's this for fashion reality TV coincidence? While we were at H&M (again) today, we ran into Chris, one of the designers on this season's Project Runway! Let's just hope tonight's not the night he gets cut on the show! (Don't worry, he didn't reveal any details about the show, but as of last week, he was still in.) Chris was a really nice guy, and you could definitely tell he was getting a little tired of the constant recognition on the streets and in the stores. After we chatted with him and cheesily asked for our photos, Sandra, my What Not to Wear assistant, told me to get used to getting recognized from the show. I wonder if that'll actually happen, and if it does, how I'll react to it. Chris didn't seem too impressed that I was going to be on a fashion reality show, just like him. Oh, well. I really like his designs and hope he does well on the program.

Tomorrow's my last day in New York, and though I absolutely love visiting here, I'm really starting to miss Austin. Not just Ian and Julian, but the people, their attitudes, the laid-back way of going about life. And for God's sake, the MUSIC!

The first day I shopped, I heard ABBA's "Dancing Queen" TWICE at TWO different stores! I laughed out loud when I heard it the first time and almost had to leave the second store when it followed us there. At another store I was at yesterday, I heard one honky tonk song, and I just knew they were playing it in that sort of ironic hipster sort of way. When I tried to explain how awesome the song was to the What Not to Wear crew that was with me, they all looked at me with these blank stares. Even though every single one of them was wearing boots, they just didn't get it. I have the privilege of listening to commercial-filled Top 40 radio at every single eat-on-the-run deli I stop at, and each night when I get back to my hotel, the cleaning person has lovingly left the radio on for me so that Maroon 5 or this Colbie Caillat person can welcome me home from my long day. New Yorkers may have the fashion, but they certainly could use a music lesson or two from somebody, anybody, back home. How's that Carrie Rodriguez song go? "Get me back to Austin, oh damn I miss that town."

But I can't really dis too much on New York City. Being here brings back all kinds of cherished memories of previous trips. But this trip might end up being the most memorable yet. And now, after all these hours and dollars spent shopping, I've got a killer wardrobe to prove it.

Tomorrow is hair and makeup. I met Nick, the hair stylist, for a quick consultation today, but I have no idea what he's got planned. I guess there are surprises in store for all of us!

"What Not to Wear" shopping spree

I just spent $4,000 in 12 hours on what I hope will be the majority of an all new wardrobe. We went uptown; we went downtown. We shopped high end and low end (hello, my trusty friend, H&M). I spent way too much on jeans and shoes and have the blisters to prove it. I found cute things, sexy things and professional things. Vintage and cutting edge. Bright colors, neutrals and everything in between. High heels and flats. Casual and elegant. Jewelry and camisoles.

But that's all I'm going to tell you. I finally understood the surprise element today. That I'm going to come home on Friday and show off this "new me" (don't worry, they haven't changed the real me, just what I look like on the outside), and to tell you all every detail of it would ruin the inherent shock of before and after.

I wish I could reveal more about what exactly I bought! Let's just say there are lots of adorable outfits that, in due time, you'll get to see. I will say that it is a little hard keeping my life in Austin in mind when I'm here. The heat. The child. The relaxed dress code. Standing for hours to watch a band. I think the crew and hosts forget that things like grocery shopping and laundry have to be done in these clothes, too. And did I say the heat already?

Stay tuned to The Goods and you'll probably get to see more than you'll see in the entire episode of "What Not to Wear" when it actually airs sometime in March. (That's one thing that I've learned about television. They will probably shoot 100 hours of footage to make an hour of "reality" TV. If I buy 100 pieces of clothing here, you'll only see 10.)

No Stacy and Clinton today. Just a really sweet set of crew members whose job it is to help me feel better about myself. Not that thought I really needed help in that area, but they're showing me what potential I really do have. How to show off The Goods, ya know?

Alas, I cannot leave you without a photo of at least one thing I've purchased on my trip. One item of clothing Stacy and Clinton really hated was my worn-to-pieces jean jacket. They might have thrown my jean jacket away, but I found the perfect present for the kiddo, because, no matter what "they" say, you know it's never too early for something so undeniably, unequivocally cool.

In the "What Not to Wear" studios

What a day. Not nearly what the next two days of shopping for "What Not to Wear" will be, I'm sure, but it was tiring nonetheless. Sandra, my production assistant, aka my shopping buddy and general helper, picked me up around 10, and we went directly to a bra fitting uptown. (Of course, we had to stop for a bagel at an Upper East Side bakery, crammed with mommies and nannies pushing the most expensive strollers I've ever seen. Julian and I, with our Moby wrap, would have stuck out like, well, a crunchy hippie in Manhattan.)

I wasn't too nervous about the bra fitting. (Seriously, if childbirth doesn't completely wipe away all your modesty, nursing will.) But the "fitting specialist" who helped me could have been a little sweeter about the whole ordeal. I've heard that something like 85 percent of women wear the wrong bra size, and I was without a doubt one of them. But I didn't exactly realize how much a well-fitted bra could do for a girl! But it comes at a price. I have $5,000 to spend this week, and my first $170 went to two, yes TWO, bras, not counting the $200 one the saleswoman was really pushing. $200 on a bra? Not in this lifetime, even if I do have five grand in my pocket.



Then it was off to the studio. The 360-degree mirror took up a lot of the day. It's this box they've rigged with mirrors on all sides. They put you in three outfits from your old wardrobe that represent the different areas of your life: work, play, casual. It's the part I was supposed to dread, and all day they were asking me on camera how I felt about the 360-degree mirror. "Fine," I kept saying, but they kept pushing. I think even the crew would admit that the "reality" of the show is definitely pushed. I never lied and said I hated being in the mirror; the closest I could come was that it was embarrassing to really see how poorly my clothes fit. The outfits really are hideous, but I'm not the type of person to really care that much about physical appearance, so I didn't get too worked up. No tears, no drama. I'm sure the producers were a little disappointed. Let's just hope they don't kick me off the show if I don't cry by the end.

Hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly were with me during the 360, and they said some pretty harsh things ("It looks like you've been rolling around in dirt!" "You could still be pregnant in that shirt!"), but it was actually really fun to spend some more time with them. They're super nice, really witty, somewhat interested in my personal life. I think the most enjoyable parts of my day were when the crew was making adjustments to the lighting or cameras, and Clinton and I or Stacy and I could just talk about things other than fashion. Then, suddenly, they lost their domineering, teacher-student complexes. We talked movies and magazines, babies and boyfriends. I was disappointed that my one-on-one time with them felt so rushed. We always just had 30 seconds there and 30 seconds there.

Anyway, then came "The Rules" section. They showed some really cute outfits on mannequins that are supposed to help me shop tomorrow and Wednesday. I was ready just to pull the clothes off the models, they were so adorable. They definitely gave me some ideas for later...

They say I'm supposed to spend half my money tomorrow, which seems completely insane, but it has been done many a time before. In fact, I got to meet one of the other Austin "contributers" today, Danielle Solan. It's such a small world; she's the choir teacher of one of the kids of a business writer at the Statesman. Who woulda thought? She looked incredible, and she's back in Austin for her big "reveal" Tuesday.

If I'm tired tonight, I can't imagine what it'll be like tomorrow...

What Not to Wear: Day 1

I made it to New York! A relatively easy flight, complete with a crying baby to remind me of my own little sweet one still sleeping at home. The "What Not to Wear" shoot officially begins tomorrow, but they flew me in a day early to spend some time strolling around, hopefully not embarrassing myself too much in my What-Not-to-Wear best.

But back on the plane, between naps, I caught a little of former Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Carson Kressley’s How to Look Good Naked, another one of the fashion makeover reality shows out on cable right now. Same idea as "What Not to Wear," but a little more focused on the goal of accepting your body image. I’m a little bit of a sap sometimes, and I found myself tearing up a little when this week’s contestant looks at herself in the mirror and can hardly speak the critical words to describe her body and then again, at the end, when Carson projects a three-story image of her tastefully shot nude photos, and she asks people on the street what they think. Of course, they can’t say enough about how incredible she looks, (because she does!). Stop hating your body, is his theme. On "What Not to Wear," Stacy and Clinton only seem to touch here and there on body image. The rest of it is focused on just the new digs, thus the "Shut up!, I love that skirt!!" a hundred times an episode.

I couldn’t help but think about my own week of intense body image and fashion scrutiny that awaits me. Will it be as emotional for me as it was for Carson’s girl? Will I face the 360 mirror and break down into tears? I don’t think of my body nearly as critically as I have in the past few years. I wish I could say that I had some magical moment of self acceptance, but a lot of it has to do with weight loss. They don’t make you strip to a bra and underwear on "What Not to Wear" (or at least I don’t think they will!), but I’m sure any woman standing in front of a mirror, nearly naked, no matter her size, would have areas she’s rather hide than bare to millions of viewers.

Talk about guts. This "How to Look Good Naked" show takes "What Not to Wear" up a notch, I think, but with greater gains. I have no clue how life-changing this week will be. My expectation is that it will be fun and memorable, but I’m wondering if good old Stacy and Clinton will do as good as job as Carson Kressley appears to in this show at getting to what’s really going on inside a fashionably impaired woman. He spends much more time with the makeoveree than I’m expecting Stacy and Clinton to. I only saw them for a couple of hours over the two days with them in Austin. I know I'll meet with them tomorrow morning in the studio, but is all this effort really just to make a disposable, easily digestible television show? Or do they really, really care how I look when I get back to Austin and they continue on with their celebrity in the Big Apple? Oh, how cynical I sound, I know. I'm just going into this like any good journalist should. I'm hopeful, but I have my reservations.

So today, I didn't worry about my looks. I just enjoyed one of my favorite cities in the world, including a great new museum on Bowery, the New Museum of Contemporary Art, where I enjoyed a glass of wine in the posh seventh floor observation terrace, glancing toward downtown in my very fine, very comfortable, very plaid Target brand sneakers.

Yes, I really do look that bad

They came. They saw. They trashed. Not just by literally throwing my clothes into a recycle bin but by showing me how I really look to the outside world. The stretched-out fabric. The worn-out crotches in jeans. They didn't make fun of the "baby juice," (the dried baby spit often full of crewed up graham crackers that Julian wipes on my shoulder when I pick up him up) but rather pointed out that I'm dressing like someone who should be a grandmother to a baby rather than an attractive young 24-year-old mother of one.

In a way, I knew everything they would say (see previous post). But in another, they totally took me by surprise. The stuff I thought was cute, they ripped apart (they literally ripped up a pair of shorts and a pair of jeans). The bright colors and patterns I was so proud of integrating into my wardrobe were the brunt of Stacy and Clinton's playful cynicism. And it was playful, but oh-so-serious. Serious in the sort of, oh-my-god-how-am-I-going-to-walk-out-of-the-house-until-new-york sort of way.

It really struck me, toward the end of the day, right before they went through my closet, throwing every thing into a recycle bin, that here I was, standing in my little old living room, dishing on Project Runway with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. (He loves the show; she hates it.) I feel like I'm living in out-of-body experience. But lo and behold, my life goes on. I have to go back to work tomorrow. And Julian and Ian are just now walking through the door as I type this. Life does exist outside so-called reality television. And they are convincing me that if I have this confidence, this outlook on life, this incredible family, it is a betrayal of myself – of this identity I have worked so hard to mold – to continue dressing the way I do. Not that I don't have the occasional outfit to match my spirit, my life outside how I dress, but I most definitely need this. More than I could have realized.

I'm probably not even making sense at this point. Many, many house around a crew of about 15. Intense discussions with Stacy and Clinton about the psychology behind how we chose to present ourselves. Stacy and I had a chance, amid all the craziness of moving lights around and setting up shots, to sit on the couch and really talk about this. She admitted: It seems superficial to the cynic, the naysayer, the I'm-too-cool-to-care-what-anyone thinks of me crowd. But it's not. You do owe it to yourself to look the best you can. Not with the most expensive or most fashionable clothes. But clothes that reflect who you really are.

It sounds cheesy, I know. Maybe I'll be able to explain it better after I've had a chance to sit on it for awhile. I'm just hoping for a good night's sleep and something remotely attractive left over to wear to work tomorrow.

Julian's room became the monitor room.

Living-room- turned-studio for secret-footage reveal.

My own clapboard!

A house filled with crew, who desperately needed Starbucks.

The aftermath of the closet purge. They took everything (well, almost)
but the clothes I'll wear for these weeks until I go to New York.
(ed. note: sorry, guys! can't rotate the image. guess that's why i'm taking an html class this semester.)

Easily the best outfit of the night.

Do I really look that bad?

Never in my life did I think reality TV would be on my list o' life experiences. But, thanks to my adoring fiance (and hordes of caring friends and family who's also helped along the way), I'm going to be on What Not to Wear!

It still doesn't even seem real. Last night. How it all went down. Stacy London and Clinton Kelly practically jumping me at a Velvet Brick show at the Red Eye Fly downtown. What seemed like a dozen cameras. A lighting crew. A (fake) $5,000 Bank of America debit card with my name printed on it. And dozens of familiar faces – you sneaky bunch – filling the crowd.

Apparently this has all been in the works since last February when, as I sat on the couch recovering from the C-section and both of us adjusting to a brand new Julianito, Ian and Corey thought it would be a kind gesture (and shot in the dark) to nominate me for this fashion makeover reality TV show on TLC. Now, I've watched my fair share of What Not to Wear and always take mental notes as I watch the hosts purge an unsuspected duckling's closet and, by the end, reveal a sharper dressed, better presented and more confident swan.

I think we all know the weak spots or challenges in how we present ourselves. Weight, skin tone, acne. Unruly curly hair, an unhealthy addiction to Target, perhaps. I'm a sucker for sentimentality, too. Those shorts of my dad's that I stole when I graduated from high school kept me horribly out of fashion (on both sides of the Atlantic) for years. But they were his. And they went with me on all those adventures. Who cares if they have holes in the crotch and the drawstring is about to snap? How could I betray something so comforting to both my body and my soul? I can't be the only person who feels this way about tangible items. Do all pack rats feel this way? Is it a Cancer thing?

So I better get ready to say goodbye to those shorts. And the 3-sizes-too-big pants I've doodled all over that I bought with Australian Russ my freshman year of college. And my so-called motorcycle jacket that I bought in Spain and that (barely) kept me warm during those winter travels to England and Italy. And my dad's (stained) Padres baseball shirt that he worn when I was a baby. Oh and my embarrassingly ugly yet incredibly comfortable collection of slip-on shoes.

I'm headed to New York at the end of the month. That's pretty much all I know for now. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you all for helping bring this awesome opportunity my way. I owe you big time.

Thanks, Paige, for the photos!

Project Ugly?

Bravo, Bravo, for finally showing a so-called "encore" presentation of the new . Usually you can't turn on the TV without running into reruns on this channel, but not so thttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifhis season. They must be taking away the supply to increase the demand. From the episodes I've seen so far, this is definitely the least-interesting season.

Interesting or not, I'm obsessed. Have been since second season. Something about how they pick the fabrics and sketch the outlines and, more often than not, create something really intriguing. I have a small obsession with all things sewing right now. I may just be mastering patchwork designs for Christmas presents, but I can pretend I know what's going on with these amazing designers who make it to the show and who can actually create beautiful pieces to wear.

Some thoughts on last week's show (Episode 3, I believe):

The designers are asked to make menswear for former football player/"Today" show correspondent Tiki Barber? Who is this? He is gorgeous, you are right, Ricky. (I wonder if he can make it through the entire episode without crying.) That's why he's on the Today show, silly.

They try to focus on what the average person would wear, but they very rarely actually succeed. The outfit Sarah Jessica Parker picked last week to be included in her Bitten line was SO unwearable. It was a cape with a vest. I may not know a thing about what's fashionable, but I know I'd never even try that on in a store.

They are really pushing the "make it work" tagline, which is extremely annoying. Nothing worse than trying too hard to brand something, right Planning Newbie? One auf Wiedersehen from Heidi at the end is plenty of forced reality tv-isms.

It's more David Beckham, Heidi hisses. What? You've got to be joking. She says that like it's a bad thing. Seal could probably learn a thing or two about fashion from Mr. Beckham. I'd also really like to know where they got these God awful male models. They aren't attractive, and I understand the ugly model concept, but they can't even walk! There are thousands of male models around the country screaming at their televisions in disbelief. I join them.

At the end, all of the suits were horrendous. I'm so glad this challenge doesn't happen every season because being able to design fashionable womens' AND mens' clothing is just crazy. Pick one thing and do it well. I guarantee you Michael Kors, minus all of his stitching monkey who do his work now, couldn't make anything better in the day and a half they were given.

You're Out: Oh, here come the tears! Ricky made it to next week, but just barely. I don't imagine he'll be around for much longer. Carmen got a raw deal by losing on menswear. But it really could have been any of them. Below, the winning and losing designs. Think you can pick which one was the winner? Both are pretty lame if you'd ask me. Maybe we should ask David Beckham.