The good, the funny, the ugly

A few things from the past few days:

The good:

Musician Marketa Irglova's acceptance speech Sunday for winning an Oscar for best song. She and Glen Hansard accepted the award for "Falling Slowly" from the movie "Once."

Hi everyone. I just want to thank you so much. This is such a big deal, not only for us, but for all other independent musicians and artists that spend most of their time struggling, and this, the fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just to prove no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible. And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream and don't give up. And this song was written from a perspective of hope, and hope at the end of the day connects us all, no matter how different we are. And so thank you so much, who helped us along way. Thank you.

The funny:



The ugly:

Texas Gov. Rick Perry was interviewed by Deborah Solomon of the New York Times Magazine this week. I'm not allowed to make comments on politics here, thus the text of the previous post removed, per ethics policy at work, but I will provide you a snippet of the interview.

Let’s talk about your new book, “On My Honor,” which draws on your experience as an Eagle Scout and champions the values of the Boy Scouts of America, to whom you are donating your royalties.

Yes, to their legal-defense fund.

Which has been fighting the A.C.L.U., to keep gays out of the scouts. Why do you see that as a worthy cause?

I am pretty clear about this one. Scouting ought to be about building character, not about sex. Period. Precious few parents enroll their boys in the Scouts to get a crash course in sexual orientation.

Why do you think a homosexual would be more likely to bring the subject of sex into a conversation than a heterosexual?

Well, the ban in scouting applies to scout leaders. When you have a clearly open homosexual scout leader, the scouts are going to talk about it. And they’re not there to learn about that. They’re there to learn about what it means to be loyal and trustworthy and thrifty.

But don’t you think that homosexuals might also be interested in being loyal and thrifty?

The argument that gets made is that homosexuality is about sex. Do you agree?

No.

Well, then why don’t they call it something else?

Did you know that there are no term limits for governor in Texas?

Obama rally in Austin

From the Obama rally Friday night:

Can you kinda seem Obama in there?
As you can tell, we didn't have the best view.

Rally up

Only a short post because I have to get ready before heading to work within the hour, but lots of exciting things happening in the next few days. Mostly, there's a Democratic debate tonight at UT and Barack Obama is holding a public rally downtown tomorrow night. The political juices started flowing and I voted early tonight and registered to go to the rally, which is technically my first such event, at least in this country.

When I was living in Alicante, Spain, roommate Rachel and I went to hear Jose Louis Zapatero campaigning for the presidency. He spoke at a rally in Alicante so packed with people that we had to stand outside. This was just days before the March 11 attacks, in which 191 people died in blasts at several train stations in Madrid. A few days later, Zapatero upset Jose Maria Anzar (at the time, one of Bush's remaining allies in Europe). It was an exciting time for Spain, a country still reeling from decades of living under a dictator, Francisco Franco, who was a longtime Castro friend.

I'm just now feeling that sort of excitement about politics in my own country. No time to split hairs about why I'm supporting Obama over Clinton (more on that later, I'm sure), but both candidates represent a change from the current administration, which is plenty for me to get revved up about.

A visit from YaYa

My mom came to visit this weekend, and Julian could not have been more adorable for her. A few videos:

No biting, Julian

Julian's been growing and changing a lot these past few weeks. When I got back from New York, he was giving high-fives. Then, Ian got him to start saying "yes," which really sounds more like "jes." Only now is he getting the hang of what it actually means. He still calls most four-legged creatures "do" and both mom and dad "da." Ian and I have a theory that he does know "mama," but that he'll only use it around Ian. It's a case of "mama" being The Name That We Do Not Speak in my presence. He points to himself when you ask where the baby is and claps whenever he hears applause. He's backing himself off the bed and furniture, but isn't quite crawling on top. No back teeth just yet, but I know they are on their way.

His teeth have been a little bit of an issue this week. We've been watching Ruby while Sarah's at school and Aaron's at work, and Julian has taken to biting Ruby on
occasion. I've only caught him once, but I know it's happened a few times, either at their house or ours. My first real instance of feeling guilty for my child's behavior.

But something I'm not feeling guilty about is shutting down the milk factory. It wasn't as much a decision as I thought it would be. I pumped when I was in New York, but when I got back, Julian just wasn't as interested. He and Ian had been getting along fine with just cow's milk. I fed him once or twice when I got home from the trip, but then just stopped. Breastfeeding has been easier to let go of than I thought it would be. The bond that it helped form between Julian and me is still there. He got all that goodness from the milk. I feel really good about the whole experience, almost enough to forget the milk letdown (ouch!) or the leaking or the biting or the unique feeling of being a milk factory. Almost.

That's all I can think of right now that's new with Julian. He's waking up around 7:30 these days and still taking two naps, but I've heard they may start to drop one of those right about now. But then how will mommy take two naps a day?

_______________________________________________


Totally unrelated note: I have a query for you, Southwest Missouri readers. Do you remember a compliation/sampler album that Z 95.5 came out with in the mid-1990s. from KTOZ 95.5 FM? It was Z 95.5 then (now it's Alice 95.5), and was a killer radio station, wasn't it? (Cue Rachel rolling her eyes.) In my memory it really showcased the alternative scene way back then. And in junior high, one of the DJs came by a career fair and gave out these sampler CDs with everything from Desperately Wanting by Better than Ezra to Counting Blues Cars by Dishwalla to If God was One of Us by Joan Osbourne and artists such as Geggy Tah and Everclear. Now, I could be mixing us some of the artists on the playlist, but you get the idea. And I'm thinking/hoping you got one of these albums, too. I lost mine some years ago and would do anything to at least figure out what songs were on it so I make my own playlist. One of the songs I know for sure was on it is Love Songs by Fleming and John, which I present to you for this St. Valentine's Day. (Oh, and if you know anything about that album, give me a shout, or at least verify that I'm not crazy and it did exist.)




Tell me that story again, the one that has no ending.

Exiting the recovery zone

I haven't posted much on what Julian's turning one has meant for me. It's been a few weeks since the big day, which really wasn't that big of deal. I didn't expect any revelations to come immediately, but a few have come in the time since.

I feel like the first year of Julian was a recovery zone. Maybe it was the C-section that really knocked me off guard physically for the first couple of months. Or maybe all mothers feel this. Everything was off because everything was new. The first few (dozen?) times you go to the grocery store with the baby, it's a strange adventure. Same with going to visit your parents or friends. It's easily six months before the things you did before feel remotely "normal" but even then, it seems a vaguely familiar version of your pre-baby life. I think it took even more months for life with Julian to feel as natural as life without him did. I mean, we're still working on that, but it's leaps and bounds better than even just a few months ago.

The interrupted sleep I think really starts to get to you, too. And Julian is truly an all-star sleeper! I can't imagine what some of my mommy friends are going through with babies still waking up all night. It can really screw with your head. Just like the whiny, pick-me-up cry that Ian still cringes at. And I had my own aches and pains post delivery; I can only imagine the aches and pains that lingered for some of my fellow mommies.

It doesn't take a scientist to tell you that babies are so adorable, especially to their parents, because it makes them harder to resent for making life so difficult at times. But cuteness aside, there's something so intrinsically gratifying about raising Julian that makes all of the hardships easier. I tried to describe it to some of the What Not to Wear crew members who are contemplating babies, all of whom were over 30 and looking at my 24-year-old self like I was a nut for having a kid "so early." But they just didn't get it. Moving to Brooklyn, giving up their Manhattan lifestyle were foremost on their minds. I tried to delicately tell them that post-baby, those concerns that seem like such monumental hurdles to parenthood become insignificant.

It sounds like I had an awful first year of motherhood, doesn't it? Being on the other side of baby's first year is just allowing me to be really honest with myself about how difficult it was. It's still challenging, don't get me wrong, but that year, that recovery zone, is just now starting to fade. I'm starting to be able to do more things for myself that I didn't feel I could last year. I'm taking some online classes, planning a family vacation and a wedding, renewing my passion for running, thinking about joining a fall softball league. Ian is, too. He's getting down and dirty with this recording unit to finish the album he started. He's able to juggle Julian and his own wants and desires a little better. We're both in consistently better moods despite the wrenches Julian may throw in our plans.

But no one could have told me about that year, just like no one can really tell me about the years to come. You have to live it for yourself to really understand it. Religious folks all my life have talked and talked and talked until they are blue in the face about faith. And if I go on and on about the topic of faith here, I will join them. Suffice it to say that having Julian has solidified my belief that faith is an action that others do not have right to doubt. We all have brains and ambition and instinct. So when Ricci volunteers in Senegal, my best friend from high school remarries a year after she divorces, the Shelton family prepares to welcome a wee brother or sister for Julian's baby friend Adeline and BAT picks up her life in Austin and moves to the sure-to-be-fabulous Steamboat Springs, Colo., wish them well. Acknowledge that they are living the life they intend.

I'd like to think that's what we're all trying to do here.

Happiness is...

We had the privilege last night of not only dinner with friend/coworker Alberto but also a sneak preview of an almost completed movie our neighbor Sjon has been working on. The film, titled "Happiness Is" for now, is directed by the same guy who made "Before the Music Dies," a SXSW darling in 2006. "Happiness Is" was set to premiere at this year's SXSW. But the film has piqued the attention of some big wigs in New York, so they are holding off so, among other things, Sjon can take his time on the final edit. Sjon was gracious enough to look at the unfinished product.

You should really take a look at the trailer. It's as powerful as the movie itself, which features John Mellencamp, the Dalai Lama and Willie Nelson and puts "The Secret" to shame.

It will probably come out later this year, and it's really an opportune time. It's become cliche to point to Sept. 11 when talking about where we stand as a nation, but the collective grieving we all experienced and then the different paths of recovery we've taken are absolutely fascinating to me. And how those paths now adversely affect one another. Initial shock to sadness led some to extreme anger and retaliation in the form of wars that continue today, which of course have led to such profound shock and sadness again and even more hatred of America than before Sept 11. What a disgusting, vicious cycle.

But the movie is not about Sept. 11 and it's not about war. (And it has nothing to do with politics, so even if you disagree with mine, you should still watch the trailer.) The movie really captures this chapter of American history. This time during which many millions of people are realizing that their country of stuff, their quench for perfection, their pursuit of more are the root of what's making them dissatisfied and unhappy. Their bubble of "Well, if only I had ____, I would be happy" has burst.

The chapter after the chapters of the 1950s and 60s and then the chapters of the 70s and 80s, during which such distinct changes happened across the board to Americans. Good and bad. From oppression to freedom (not to say that oppression against blacks and women doesn't still exist). From Joseph McCarthy to Ron Paul. From radio to Radiohead. From the Cleavers to the Bradys to the Huxtables to the Friends and now the freaking Kardashians. It's like that movie, Pleasantville. Life went from black and white to color on many levels, which has had its many consequences. Now that we have this color palette to chose from, we can't get enough. We still want more. How else can you explain a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Aurora, Mo. (pop. 7,000) or the jump in suicide rate around the holidays or bratty little kids screaming because they want another Bratz or the out-of-touch parents who keep buying houses they can't afford.

Diving into the subject of what is happiness, either for art or for commerce, isn't new by any means. But I think this movie, which points out the money to be made in helping the unhappy, does a really good job of painting a picture of what the pursuit of happiness is like in America in 2008.

Julian and Ruby on a (play)date

Aren't these two adorable? We have the pleasure of watching Ruby while Aaron's at work and Sarah's at school this semester. She's easier to watch than Julian! It helps that they are starting to play together more.

What Not to What?

I received this comment on the Statesman's The Goods blog.

Did no one edit/proofread the "What Not to Wear" columns? They are filled with misused works, misspelled words and poor grammar. Their lack of professionalism is quite appalling.

Yes, plenty of misused works, ma'am. Thank you for your careful attention to detail.

"What Not to Wear": The Reveal

Oh, how good it is to be back in Austin! New York is such an incredible city, but home is home for a reason, right? And it certainly helps that the weather gods gave us such spring-like days to welcome me back from my "What Not to Wear" journey.

Two crew members and I left New York City before dawn on Friday. I finally got to wear some of my clothes I bought last week, but most of them were crammed into a single suitcase and two garment bags. (Garment bags! Can you believe it? Never in my life have I used one, much less two!)

I caught a little bit of an old episode of "What Not to Wear" on the flight. An episode I'd seen before with this silly girl in an orange fuzzy scarf. To millions of Americans (and Canadians!), I'll be that girl in the skirt she made out of a tablecloth. Or the new mom with the "baby juice" on her shirt. (Clinton made sure to point out — on camera in the 360 degree mirror — that one of my shirt sleeves still had some dried food on it. I tried to explain how often that happens with a young one at home. They sloppily eat some graham crackers and give you a hug and leave a little "baby juice" behind. Stacy and Clinton didn't really get it, but I know all you mothers out there hear me. Hey, at least I wasn't still new at breastfeeding! Talk about embarrassing stains!)

It was so surreal to see the show on the plane, so I didn't watch for long. We arrived in Austin around noon and headed straight for The Oasis, where the engagement party was to be held later on that night. We still had half a day until guests were to arrive, but we had plenty to do! A makeup artist, a sound guy and a camera man the show had hired for the day were waiting for us when we arrived, and I jumped right into my first "beauty shots" outfit. This part of the program is meant to show off some of the other new outfits the "contributer" got after he/she has arrived back home. It felt very much like I was having my high school senior pictures taken again. "Voguing" is the crew's preferred term, but there's no denying the inherent cheese involved in posing in this manner for the camera. But it felt good to finally get to wear some of these clothes that I'd only tried on once in a dressing room a few thousand miles away.

But it felt even better to look out over Lake Travis and realize I was home. Those blasted cedars that made me sneeze as soon as I got off the plane were a welcomed sight after a week in a barren, concrete city. The warm sun that made even a sweater unnecessary on the first day of February. The guacamole and quesadillas I got to nibble on between shots. (That's something even New Yorkers will agree on — there's not an ounce of decent Mexican or Tex-Mex to be had in the Big Apple.) There's nothing to make you appreciate Central Texas like a week on the East Coast...

After the beauty shots were done, the sweet makeup artist from Houston helped me put myself together for the big reveal. A very fine, very chic, very expensive dress from Searle, great earrings and quite high silver heels. All I had to do then was wait for friends and family to arrive. The crew kept asking if I was nervous, but I really wasn't. I was more excited to see everyone, especially my family who'd driven down from Missouri and Ian and Julian. Plus, my feet were already hurting from the shoes, so I was beyond ready to waltz through those doors and see everyone.

But I guess the point was for them, and the cameras, to see me. So it took what felt like hours to set everything up. And the big moment finally came! I strolled through these giant doors and saw dozens of familiar faces break into huge smiles. I could feel it. Their explosive applause was completely genuine. They were as happy to see me as I was to see them. I don't know if it was the dress or the shoes or the hair (don't worry, it was curly again) that surprised them most, but everyone just seemed through the roof.

But lest we forget that this is television. Instead of getting to run to all of them, and pick up my own child for goodness sake, I had to turn around and walk through the doors again. And again. And again. The poor folks in the crowd had to react as if they hadn't seen me again and again and again. So much for "reality television." But we all persevered, and in the end, I got to at least say hello to most of the guests between interviews and cutaway shots and more shots of me getting out of the car and walking up the stairs and through the door and, well, you get the idea.

I was happily surprised that everyone really seemed shocked at my "transformation." Even though I felt like a princess in that dress (I know, you're dying to catch a glimpse of it! I was politely informed that I could not show any of this before the episode's premiere in late March. March 21 is the date they've given me for now.), it felt more dramatic because of how everyone reacted to me in it. It was almost like they were seeing something I could not because I'm too close to the source.

Julian didn't even recognize me! And even though it had only been a week, he seemed to have changed leaps and bounds as well! He was even giving everyone high-fives, which he hadn't been doing when I left. Oh, how quickly the little ones change.

If only Friday were the last of the filming. We still had three more outfits and three more shoots on Saturday for a new part of the show called the "home life" segment. I'm glad the filming ended when it did because I was at my wits' end by Saturday. I realized by then that I had learned more about the nuts and bolts of shooting a TV show than about fashion itself, and what I remember about the past week has to do more with the making of "What Not to Wear" than the making of an all new Addie. At least I have the clothes to remind me of what I accomplished fashion-wise up there. In a few weeks, I'll have 42 minutes of prime time TV to help remember the journey as well.

I'm glad to be back at work and back with the boys. All my new things are hung nicely in the closet and not a single wire hanger remains in the house. I even made Ian go through his clothes and pitch the too big, too worn, too God-awful ugly things he's been hanging on to for years. Plus, we've already found a few new belts, scarves and pants we might be able to share! If I can just keep him away from those knee-high boots...

We had a fabulous engagement party that we wouldn't have had without the show, and I have a killer new wardrobe that I would have never splurged on myself. I may still be exhausted (and sniffling from a silly cold I think I caught up there!), and my toes may still be aching from those heels, but the new is blending with the old to create this nice new hue that still resembles me. I couldn't be happier.

What Not to Wear? Straight hair

After another long day in the "What Not to Wear" studios, I'm finally back in my very chic hotel, and I have most of my goods I bought this week with me (and some even on my body!). I have a suitcase full of super cute things and a hanging bag full of quite nice pieces. And don't forget the boxes and shoes and other things they are going to have to ship to me next week!

I finished shopping yesterday, so today was hair and makeup and the final "reveals" to hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. Let's just say they were quite impressed. One of the most dramatic changes they've made on the show, they said, though I guess they could be lying. We covered the rock 'n' roll look, the work look and the casual cute look, and you're going to have to wait for the show to see exactly what I mean by those!

All you get to see now are a pair of my really cute new shoes, mine are the top pair, along with Stacy and Clinton's shoes (I have a thing about taking pictures of my feet wherever I go) to prove I really was with those two this week...



The main changes I underwent today were for hair and makeup. Nick, the hair stylist, and Carmindy, the makeup artist, have been with the show since the beginning and are probably as well known as the hosts. Nick has a studio in New York, where he charges $500 for a haircut! Carmindy splits her time between New York and Miami and just created her own line of makeup, which will soon be in drugstores across the country.



I met Nick for a second on Wednesday for a consultation, and he was first this morning. After some foil and highlighting, then came some overall coloring, the outcome of which I wasn't really expecting. Then came the scissors, which I knew was coming. You're going to have to wait until after my reveal to find out exactly what he did, but it was OK at first.

I mean, honestly, no one really knows what the hell they are doing with curly hair unless it is there own curly hair. One of the big themes of the haircutting part of the show was that I cut my own hair now, which neither the hosts nor Nick were really impressed with. I tried to explain that it was because everywhere I go, the stylist cuts my hair as if it were straight, which it clearly is not. So a few years ago, I got tired of wasting my money on mediocre (at best) cuts. I won't claim that I was doing the best job, but I was certainly doing better than some of the stylists I had been to. Plus, the thing about curly hair is that you don't have to cut it perfectly because the curls hide the imperfections. Anyway, let's just say if I'd spent $500 on a haircut from Nick, I'd be asking for my money back (sorry, Nick, if you read this!).

But here I was, in front of three cameras and the stylist himself, so I grinned and bared it, thinking the whole time, "Well, it'll be better when I can get my own hands on it." But at least he didn't straighten it, right? Oh, just wait.

Carmindy, who is an absolute delight, hooked me up with a killer makeup job, and she even gave me about $100 worth of it because she's getting ready to launch this new line and had some extra supplies. I was elated after my experience with her. I really think she's one of the most down-to-Earth people on the whole show.

So, after makeup came the section of the show were I put on three different outfits (NOT chosen by me, which was a surprise) to show to Stacy and Clinton. Thing is, Stacy and Clinton pick out the outfits for me to wear! They did a pretty good job of putting together a nice array of my wardrobe, but halfway through the reveal section comes a hair stylist with a blow dryer and a big round brush, every curly-headed person's worst nightmare. And away he goes. I tried to keep my chin up, but I knew, just knew what was happening, and I didn't like it one bit.

But the whole point of the show is trying out news things and being open to change, so I roughed it out. They didn't let me look at myself in the mirror, but I felt it on my head. They'd flattened my signature curls into something I knew I wouldn't even recognize. I peaked in my reflection in a glass window, and that's when the tears came. I'd made it so far on the show without crying! But I couldn't help it. They'd taken what I spent two decades struggling so hard to accept, through all the horrible nicknames like "Mop 'n' Glo" and "Afro Sheen," and turned it into what I'd always wanted -- perfectly coiffed, straight-as-a-board hair. But it looked like an awful wig on me. I felt like I'd been stripped of me, the me they were trying to help me get in touch with with all these new clothes. I tried to will the tears away, but they wouldn't stop. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't permanent and that it was just a stupid television show and that I could wash the straight right out of my hair as soon as I got home.

The series producer happened to be there, and he pulled me aside and told me they'd do whatever I wanted to do. If I wanted to go back to curly, they'd do it. But I wanted to really see if Stacy and Clinton were worth their fashion salt, so I went to them with a pleading look in my eyes. "What do you think?" I asked. They knew. They saw right away what I was talking about. Stacy sat me down in the couch in her office and listened to my whole schpeal about the struggle to embrace my hair as it was. She was willing to let me do whatever I wanted, but she wanted me to at least think about doing a single outfit with straight hair and facing this demon in front of the camera. To show that curly hair, mine or anybody else's, doesn't have to be as limiting as it might feel sometimes. To show that curly-haired people, too, have options just like the straight-haired "normal" folks I envied as a younger person.

It sounds menial to go on and on as I have about this incident today with my hair, but it's about more than that. It's about identity. My curly hair is as much apart of who I am as my outgoing personality or my silly, bad jokes. It's as playful as me and reminds me of the crazy curly genes passed through each member of my family. It is a single item that represents my struggle to fit in as an adolescent female. As I stood there in all these fancy clothes and fancy shoes in a fancy studio in a fancy town, my heart was breaking at the thought of taking those curls away. On freaking national television, mind you.

But then I realized that maybe I was being given my chance to get what I'd been asking for during all those self-conscious years. The straight hair I'd always wanted, which, now that I had it, I loathed with every ounce of my being. I told them I'd go on camera with it straight if I could have it curly for the last reveal. They said yes. I dried my eyes, and they retouched my makeup. I walked on that set with as much confidence as I could muster, but I felt like that awkward, nervous junior high schooler again, just in better clothes. I hadn't wanted straight hair in a long, long time, and now I never, ever, ever will again. Careful what you wish for, you might actually get it. On freaking national television, so everyone can see.

I write this with just a few hours until my flight back to Austin. I got my curls -- and my emboldened confidence -- back for the last reveal and now for the engagement party tomorrow night. Now, the only tears I will shed will be of sheer happiness to see my fiance, my baby and my family members, who've driven down from Missouri for the big night. I can't wait.

How to spend $5,000 in two days

Whew! Two days of shopping and $5,000 later, and I have nothing to show for it! The What Not to Wear folks won't let me wear any of my stuff for at least another day, so it's back to the drab, worn-out, plain Jane stuff I brought. I didn't bring very many clothes, mainly because they didn't leave me that much when they raided my closet a few weeks ago, and I am so tired of what's in my suitcase! Tomorrow is my last day in the studio (and my last day in New York :(), and I don't have a clue what I'm going to wear!

So, today: Hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly shopped with me for awhile and gave a thumbs up or thumbs down on what I bought yesterday. I ended up having to return about $500 worth of stuff that just didn't please them like I thought, but in general, I did a pretty good job. Better than "contributers" usually do, they told me. Stacy and Clinton helped me pick out an incredible engagement dress that I'm just dying to show off. I think the happiest moment of my day was when one of Clinton's hair/makeup guys walked past me and had to do a double take. "Honey, you look hot!" he said. It feels good to take people off guard like that.

How's this for fashion reality TV coincidence? While we were at H&M (again) today, we ran into Chris, one of the designers on this season's Project Runway! Let's just hope tonight's not the night he gets cut on the show! (Don't worry, he didn't reveal any details about the show, but as of last week, he was still in.) Chris was a really nice guy, and you could definitely tell he was getting a little tired of the constant recognition on the streets and in the stores. After we chatted with him and cheesily asked for our photos, Sandra, my What Not to Wear assistant, told me to get used to getting recognized from the show. I wonder if that'll actually happen, and if it does, how I'll react to it. Chris didn't seem too impressed that I was going to be on a fashion reality show, just like him. Oh, well. I really like his designs and hope he does well on the program.

Tomorrow's my last day in New York, and though I absolutely love visiting here, I'm really starting to miss Austin. Not just Ian and Julian, but the people, their attitudes, the laid-back way of going about life. And for God's sake, the MUSIC!

The first day I shopped, I heard ABBA's "Dancing Queen" TWICE at TWO different stores! I laughed out loud when I heard it the first time and almost had to leave the second store when it followed us there. At another store I was at yesterday, I heard one honky tonk song, and I just knew they were playing it in that sort of ironic hipster sort of way. When I tried to explain how awesome the song was to the What Not to Wear crew that was with me, they all looked at me with these blank stares. Even though every single one of them was wearing boots, they just didn't get it. I have the privilege of listening to commercial-filled Top 40 radio at every single eat-on-the-run deli I stop at, and each night when I get back to my hotel, the cleaning person has lovingly left the radio on for me so that Maroon 5 or this Colbie Caillat person can welcome me home from my long day. New Yorkers may have the fashion, but they certainly could use a music lesson or two from somebody, anybody, back home. How's that Carrie Rodriguez song go? "Get me back to Austin, oh damn I miss that town."

But I can't really dis too much on New York City. Being here brings back all kinds of cherished memories of previous trips. But this trip might end up being the most memorable yet. And now, after all these hours and dollars spent shopping, I've got a killer wardrobe to prove it.

Tomorrow is hair and makeup. I met Nick, the hair stylist, for a quick consultation today, but I have no idea what he's got planned. I guess there are surprises in store for all of us!

"What Not to Wear" shopping spree

I just spent $4,000 in 12 hours on what I hope will be the majority of an all new wardrobe. We went uptown; we went downtown. We shopped high end and low end (hello, my trusty friend, H&M). I spent way too much on jeans and shoes and have the blisters to prove it. I found cute things, sexy things and professional things. Vintage and cutting edge. Bright colors, neutrals and everything in between. High heels and flats. Casual and elegant. Jewelry and camisoles.

But that's all I'm going to tell you. I finally understood the surprise element today. That I'm going to come home on Friday and show off this "new me" (don't worry, they haven't changed the real me, just what I look like on the outside), and to tell you all every detail of it would ruin the inherent shock of before and after.

I wish I could reveal more about what exactly I bought! Let's just say there are lots of adorable outfits that, in due time, you'll get to see. I will say that it is a little hard keeping my life in Austin in mind when I'm here. The heat. The child. The relaxed dress code. Standing for hours to watch a band. I think the crew and hosts forget that things like grocery shopping and laundry have to be done in these clothes, too. And did I say the heat already?

Stay tuned to The Goods and you'll probably get to see more than you'll see in the entire episode of "What Not to Wear" when it actually airs sometime in March. (That's one thing that I've learned about television. They will probably shoot 100 hours of footage to make an hour of "reality" TV. If I buy 100 pieces of clothing here, you'll only see 10.)

No Stacy and Clinton today. Just a really sweet set of crew members whose job it is to help me feel better about myself. Not that thought I really needed help in that area, but they're showing me what potential I really do have. How to show off The Goods, ya know?

Alas, I cannot leave you without a photo of at least one thing I've purchased on my trip. One item of clothing Stacy and Clinton really hated was my worn-to-pieces jean jacket. They might have thrown my jean jacket away, but I found the perfect present for the kiddo, because, no matter what "they" say, you know it's never too early for something so undeniably, unequivocally cool.

In the "What Not to Wear" studios

What a day. Not nearly what the next two days of shopping for "What Not to Wear" will be, I'm sure, but it was tiring nonetheless. Sandra, my production assistant, aka my shopping buddy and general helper, picked me up around 10, and we went directly to a bra fitting uptown. (Of course, we had to stop for a bagel at an Upper East Side bakery, crammed with mommies and nannies pushing the most expensive strollers I've ever seen. Julian and I, with our Moby wrap, would have stuck out like, well, a crunchy hippie in Manhattan.)

I wasn't too nervous about the bra fitting. (Seriously, if childbirth doesn't completely wipe away all your modesty, nursing will.) But the "fitting specialist" who helped me could have been a little sweeter about the whole ordeal. I've heard that something like 85 percent of women wear the wrong bra size, and I was without a doubt one of them. But I didn't exactly realize how much a well-fitted bra could do for a girl! But it comes at a price. I have $5,000 to spend this week, and my first $170 went to two, yes TWO, bras, not counting the $200 one the saleswoman was really pushing. $200 on a bra? Not in this lifetime, even if I do have five grand in my pocket.



Then it was off to the studio. The 360-degree mirror took up a lot of the day. It's this box they've rigged with mirrors on all sides. They put you in three outfits from your old wardrobe that represent the different areas of your life: work, play, casual. It's the part I was supposed to dread, and all day they were asking me on camera how I felt about the 360-degree mirror. "Fine," I kept saying, but they kept pushing. I think even the crew would admit that the "reality" of the show is definitely pushed. I never lied and said I hated being in the mirror; the closest I could come was that it was embarrassing to really see how poorly my clothes fit. The outfits really are hideous, but I'm not the type of person to really care that much about physical appearance, so I didn't get too worked up. No tears, no drama. I'm sure the producers were a little disappointed. Let's just hope they don't kick me off the show if I don't cry by the end.

Hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly were with me during the 360, and they said some pretty harsh things ("It looks like you've been rolling around in dirt!" "You could still be pregnant in that shirt!"), but it was actually really fun to spend some more time with them. They're super nice, really witty, somewhat interested in my personal life. I think the most enjoyable parts of my day were when the crew was making adjustments to the lighting or cameras, and Clinton and I or Stacy and I could just talk about things other than fashion. Then, suddenly, they lost their domineering, teacher-student complexes. We talked movies and magazines, babies and boyfriends. I was disappointed that my one-on-one time with them felt so rushed. We always just had 30 seconds there and 30 seconds there.

Anyway, then came "The Rules" section. They showed some really cute outfits on mannequins that are supposed to help me shop tomorrow and Wednesday. I was ready just to pull the clothes off the models, they were so adorable. They definitely gave me some ideas for later...

They say I'm supposed to spend half my money tomorrow, which seems completely insane, but it has been done many a time before. In fact, I got to meet one of the other Austin "contributers" today, Danielle Solan. It's such a small world; she's the choir teacher of one of the kids of a business writer at the Statesman. Who woulda thought? She looked incredible, and she's back in Austin for her big "reveal" Tuesday.

If I'm tired tonight, I can't imagine what it'll be like tomorrow...

What Not to Wear: Day 1

I made it to New York! A relatively easy flight, complete with a crying baby to remind me of my own little sweet one still sleeping at home. The "What Not to Wear" shoot officially begins tomorrow, but they flew me in a day early to spend some time strolling around, hopefully not embarrassing myself too much in my What-Not-to-Wear best.

But back on the plane, between naps, I caught a little of former Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Carson Kressley’s How to Look Good Naked, another one of the fashion makeover reality shows out on cable right now. Same idea as "What Not to Wear," but a little more focused on the goal of accepting your body image. I’m a little bit of a sap sometimes, and I found myself tearing up a little when this week’s contestant looks at herself in the mirror and can hardly speak the critical words to describe her body and then again, at the end, when Carson projects a three-story image of her tastefully shot nude photos, and she asks people on the street what they think. Of course, they can’t say enough about how incredible she looks, (because she does!). Stop hating your body, is his theme. On "What Not to Wear," Stacy and Clinton only seem to touch here and there on body image. The rest of it is focused on just the new digs, thus the "Shut up!, I love that skirt!!" a hundred times an episode.

I couldn’t help but think about my own week of intense body image and fashion scrutiny that awaits me. Will it be as emotional for me as it was for Carson’s girl? Will I face the 360 mirror and break down into tears? I don’t think of my body nearly as critically as I have in the past few years. I wish I could say that I had some magical moment of self acceptance, but a lot of it has to do with weight loss. They don’t make you strip to a bra and underwear on "What Not to Wear" (or at least I don’t think they will!), but I’m sure any woman standing in front of a mirror, nearly naked, no matter her size, would have areas she’s rather hide than bare to millions of viewers.

Talk about guts. This "How to Look Good Naked" show takes "What Not to Wear" up a notch, I think, but with greater gains. I have no clue how life-changing this week will be. My expectation is that it will be fun and memorable, but I’m wondering if good old Stacy and Clinton will do as good as job as Carson Kressley appears to in this show at getting to what’s really going on inside a fashionably impaired woman. He spends much more time with the makeoveree than I’m expecting Stacy and Clinton to. I only saw them for a couple of hours over the two days with them in Austin. I know I'll meet with them tomorrow morning in the studio, but is all this effort really just to make a disposable, easily digestible television show? Or do they really, really care how I look when I get back to Austin and they continue on with their celebrity in the Big Apple? Oh, how cynical I sound, I know. I'm just going into this like any good journalist should. I'm hopeful, but I have my reservations.

So today, I didn't worry about my looks. I just enjoyed one of my favorite cities in the world, including a great new museum on Bowery, the New Museum of Contemporary Art, where I enjoyed a glass of wine in the posh seventh floor observation terrace, glancing toward downtown in my very fine, very comfortable, very plaid Target brand sneakers.